The hottest to the ugliest! Weiner, Schwarzenegger, Spitzer, Edwards, Gov. Mark Sanford , Tiger and the rest of them.
I’m sure you’ve noticed that we’ve had a rash of politicians and celebrities getting caught cheating on their spouses lately. I don’t get how can they be that stupid that they get caught? But more noticeable is to take a look at the women of our politicians, and particularly the women they’ve cheated with, and you’ll know why this country is so screwed up. Just getting caught has to tell us these politicians are pretty dumb to begin with. The bimbo’s they get caught with makes it even worse. There are rules about cheating. First off, don’t cheat, it ends up costing you too much if you get caught. If you don’t like who you’re with, get rid of them. But in case you do cheat, there are rules to follow. Rule 1, don’t cheat with anyone unless they have more to lose than you do. If you’re an employee, do the bosses wife, assuming she’s good looking. She sure as hell isn’t going to turn you in to your wife or to the press. If you’re a politician, do someone with a boatload of money or that has a husband in a major position, like the wife of the President. (Nahhh, now that I think of the wives our Presidents have, I take that back.) And speaking of that, what’s the story with our Presidents? Can’t they take little hint from French President Sarkozy and put someone like French First Lady Carla Bruni in the white house? Rule 2, don’t cheat with a mutt, or someone that your wife would be insulted by because she’s uglier than the wife. If the women you cheat with are smoking hot, at least you can say you just couldn’t resist because she got you when you were drunk and you just weren’t thinking. You can say you were going thru a mid life crisis, like male menopause. But the girl you’re cheating with has to be hot, or why bother and take the risk?
Let’s take a look at a few of our dumb ass politicians that have been caught cheating. Senator Anthony Weiner. By all the stories I’ve read, Weiner wasn’t getting anything on the side, which is really messed up. He was just sending out his picture over the Internet. What kind of a sicko would send pictures of himself over the Internet just for the hell of it? If you’re going to do something that stupid, as least make sure the payback is a nite with some hot little honey. Weiner needs rehab, for sure. Senator John Edwards. Have you checked the winner he was shacking up with? What was he thinking? And how about Governor Eliott Spitzer from NY. Well, ok, I’ll make an exception. She was 22 and pretty hot, but for $4000 a shot, I’d want a house full of them. Spitzer allegedly paid out $80,000 over a few years for prostitutes, but I guess that’s better than popping your best friend/ Chief of Staff’s wife and getting caught. Kudos to Senator John Ensign for that one. Was she hot? NOT. Totally pathetic . And who else? Gov.Mark Sanford with the 40 year old Argentine mistress . She was pretty good looking and very sexy. And the latest, Rep. Alcee Hastings from Florida for sexually harassing a staff member. Who was he harassing? Ms. Winsome Packer. The name says it all, but click a picture of that pooch on Google and you’ll wake up with nightmares.
Let’s face it, we have to put up with politicians blowing smoke up our butts all the time anyway, so the least they can do is have a hot chick beside them to take our minds off their outrageous crap.
Oh, yes, there’s more. Our favorite action hero, Arnold Scwartzenegger . Arnold, your freakin maid? Arnold, you should be hitting the hottest chicks in town and you were porking your maid and even knocked her up? Talk about going from bad to worse. What happened to my action hero? That little piece of tail is going to cost you a few hundred million. Are you serious?
And Tiger Woods OMG Tiger, wtf were you thinking? You have one of the hottest wives on earth and you’re out banging a pack of hookers? Not that a few were all that hard on the eyes, but these were all sluts. You had a gorgeous, classy wife at home and you blew it. And how much did that cost you? A few hundred million?
So, let’s face facts, our politicians are normal only in the sense that they run around on their wives. I’m not saying everyone is like that, but guys, if you’re going to screw around, make your wives proud and do it with a chick that your wife doesn’t have to be ashamed of. One that she can say, “yes, I know he did that, but isn’t she gorgeous?”
So, to all of our cheating politicians, please get with it. You suck at running the country, so the least you can do is bring some talent to Capitol Hill. Take a little pride in what you’re marrying and who you’re bedding down with. It’s bad enough you’re screwing all of us with the incompetent running of our government, but if you’re going to screw our women, as least pick ones that when you get caught and we see them, we can proudly say, wow, can’t blame him for hitting that! And just remember Bill (Oh, shit, I got it on your dress) Clinton, left the White House with the highest end of office approval rating of any president since WWII. Think the Monica affair had anything to do with that? Clinton is every mans hero.
So to end this, I’ll say that very few of us are happy with the way our politicians are running, or ruining our country these days. There is very little pride left, and other countries throughout the world are passing us like we’re standing still. We need to get some pride back no matter how we do it and start this ball rolling. My suggestion? Lets put Donald Trump and his wife Melania in the White House. How great would it be to have Melania as our First Lady. No country could boast a First Lady hotter than that.
Howard R.Baer, Editor
PS. Got some good dirt a big politician but you’re too close to them and afraid to speak up? Sent it to me directly and I personally guarantee your anonymity or send it anonymously buy using www.TheAnonymousEmail.com.